Why God Took Down the Dinosaurs

India, traffic, cars, pollution, environment

Sam was smoking pot full of CNG, petrol and diesel fumes, as he crawled into his car to work. Life sucks and it’s a bitch too when it’s the month of March. Financial year end in most countries.

 

And if you are in a sales-oriented company, then your boss would like to have the biggest and healthiest litter from your so-called bitched life.

 

As these sweet thoughts were crossing Sam’s mind, BAMMM! A beggar turns up in front of his car, holding a dog, with a swollen face.

 

Beggar – Brother! Help my dog, the animal hospital is just across the road. Take all my money from me but help him. They won’t let a beggar in.

 

dog in need

 

Sam (thinks) – Oh Man! If I am late today, my boss is going to screw me left, right & center. Ahhh! Alright, get in the car.

 

Vet – Well the dog is stung by a bee, but he is fine now. I have given him anti-venom.

 

Beggar – Thanks, sir. Your good karma will yield returns. God will be merciful.

 

Well, Sam felt good and peaceful inside with a shy pride of helping a dog.

 

Time to enter the ‘ARENA’, I mean office now

Boss (sarcastically) – Come, Son! Hope you have achieved your target? Should we order the beer to celebrate it?

 

Sam – Sir there was an emergency.

 

Boss – Let me guess. Your water broke? Get off my site, I want my numbers or you will be history.

 

At lunchtime, with target no here in sight

Boss (to the team) – You guys are a disgrace; your stupid fancy degrees won’t fetch me my numbers. I don’t know how you guys can generate the appetite to eat without achieving your sales targets. How in hell you will digest this food.

 

Sam (to colleagues) – Screw it, man. I guess he has to vomit this shit out, in order to generate his appetite.

 

After closing late at night and all boozed up, Sam decides to relieve himself on a tree

 

Tree – Hey Dumbo! What you think you are doing?

 

Sam – Hey chill buddy! It’s nature’s call.

 

Tree – You are pissing on nature, you nut-head.

 

Sam (surprised, talking to himself) – Holy Moly! Is this cheap liquor or am I talking to a tree?

 

Tree – Yeah, you always piss on speaking trees.

 

Sam – Sorry man it’s March. Are you God?

 

Tree – Do I look like Morgan Freeman of Bruce Almighty? Well anyway, you look sloshed. What’s up with you?

 

Sam –March is so terrible, rather every month is such a drag.

 

Tree – I have been around for 150 years and I have only known March as being beautiful. It is spring, with birds chirping, new leaves, new flowers; it’s gorgeous in March for normal living beings.

 

Sam – Hey I am normal.

 

Tree – No you are a human. You know God took down the dinosaurs for you; to build a better world. Little did he know, he was replacing a monster with a pot-head.

 

Sam – All humans are not bad Sir. I always help the needy. I nearly got fired today but I still helped a miserable dog.

 

Tree – And why did you decide to help the poor soul. Did the doctor prescribe you to help the ones in need? What on earth makes you feel so proud for helping the ones in need? The dog was anything but miserable; you may hail your civil evolution but look at yourself, that’s what you call miserable. Gasping for breath, full of spring air and begging for cheap philanthropy.

 

Sam – So what are you saying here; what do we do? Become activists, or should we not feel good after helping someone? Isn’t this like a favor we have done to them.

 

Tree – I tell you what you douche bag, I will be chopped down tomorrow by the municipal mob. You make sure that you pee on every new sapling you come across so that when it grows as a tree, he can tell you the month by the stressed liquor content of your piss; away from the hallucination of spring, monsoon winter, autumn or whatever.

 

tree, nature, environment

 

Tree – Look Son! Mother Nature is like a savage, she protects and punishes ferociously. You guys have been annoying her for a far too long time now. Remember! God took down the dinosaurs for GOOD.

….

Sam didn’t become an activist and neither did he quit his job; he skipped his breakfast the next day and saved the tree from being chopped.

 

Made the 150-year-old tree a local heritage. God knows why people started worshiping it.

 

And hey the dog he helped, had many friends; most days he gets mugged with a bag full of dog food.

 

Sam did all of this without being proud or guilt prone or out of any moral obligation.

 

For him, it’s the very fusion of human and nature, for which GOD TOOK DOWN THE DINOSAURS

 

– Abhinav Dwivedi