Being God Religiously


Writer – Abhinav Dwivedi

Come – Come. I am the man of the house; the biggest, baddest or in your language ‘living the REAL THUG LIFE’. Let me simplify, for the Muslim fella – I am Allah, for the Hindu – I am Bhagwaan, for the Jew – I am Adonai and for the Christian – I am God.



Aren’t you dumbsters here way too early? You guys seem to be barely in your 20’s.
Let’s start with you cashew face. You are a Palestinian
Palestine – I hate Jews.
God – Tell me something new.
Palestine – I blew myself in the market.
God – Oh Wow! You are my hero. So do I look like the 72 damsels they promised?
You have a problem to lock horns with everybody in this world, so that everybody is obliged to spank you.

God – Hey misty eyes what’s your story?
Jew – I was shot by a Palestinian teenager.
God – Why did you give him a bad massage?
Jew – No I didn’t. We had a family feud since our great grandfather days; and yeah I shot his father.
God – Oh and the sickening tradition finds another picture frame on the wall.
You know garbage head, that holocaust is over and peace can prevail. Everybody is not after your freaking neck; so stop acting like a teenage prom queen, unless you feel cozy shooting and being shot at.
God – Hey Indie dude, what kind of yoga killed you?
Hindu– I died of a heart attack. Saw a frightening news report on how Muslim population is rising and by 2050 we will be conquered again.
God – Firstly, ‘News Report’ hahahaha; Secondly, Awww you missed the ceremony and Third you died with that thought. It’s gonna trouble you for eternity my friend.
Hindu – Hindus and Muslims have a long standing rivalry. I hate them, my parents told me about the bloodbath of partition.
God – Did your parents witness partition?
Hindu – No, but my grandparents did.
God – Even they were kid’s, it was your great grandfathers era which tackled that madness.
But hey India has the weirdest freedom struggle. You have got to be the only  Martyr died hearing stories, that’s laughable.

God – Yes Mr. Milky Way, What’s up with you?
Christian – I hate black guys.
God – I hate black guys and yellow guys, Hispanics, Arabs and Jews. We used to slit each other’s throats in Europe but let’s bomb the whole horizon with our farting planes now. Well douches like you end up in police mortuary.
Christian – Blacks are not Christians. Jesus was White. They don’t like us. They were better off as slaves.
God – Oh yeah orgasmic Ku Klux Klan. ‘Let’s Make America Irritate Again’.
Christian – It’s ‘Great Again’.
God – Yeah ‘Great Again’ and who will do the honors of digging out that greatness?
Will it be Mr.Trump’s  magic wall along Mexico?
All four of you have a very simple disease. Just like sex appeal, you have hate appeal.
The trouble is that it is genetically transferred. Your grannies briefed your parents, your parent’s poured honey in your ears. It’s as simple as they teach you when you were kids “that you shouldn’t eat mud”.
They embed this hatred in you, forget about an individual, generalize a community and polish your social identity. I wonder how you guys weren’t that gullible when choosing your girl friends.
I tell you since you guys are real A$$holes, I am sending you back to earth; but this time not as humans but as stray puppies.
All four of you will search for food together, fend of other dogs together, save your asses from pelting stones together and then you might understand the ‘Power of the Pack’; And yes you all will have different colored coats, yet you won’t be racist.
I believe the challenges for bare survival which poor dogs endure will imbibe some humanity to your spirits.

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