Pakistan Needs a Rehab

Sniffing from the barrel, as Pakistan gets slayed

The moment a drug addict unshackles himself, he runs to the first available peddler to grab his daily dose. Well, our dear neighbor Pakistan has been doing it since 1947; then in 1965; 1971 and the war our generation witnessed in 1999.


We literally thrashed them black and blue, but as soon as they gain consciousness they run to the closest peddler to get some terror meth.


Eventually, there is no dearth of such “non-state actors or assets” in Pakistan. From Jaish-e-Mohammad to Lashkar-e-Taiba, to numerous chhut bhaiyas (small leaders) sprouting every now and then in the “country of five seasons” as they profoundly call their nation.


Pakistan, India, USA, WAR, CHina


The question is who will bell the cat and how. So before moving onto the rehab process, let me waste a line on constant war mongering at the news channels. You had your ad revenues now, get over it. Nobody is going to war and neither is it an option. You cannot invade the 11th largest army sitting in Uncle Sam’s lap.


We didn’t do it in 1965 and neither in 1971, when we very well could have.


So how to get this addicted teenager into rehab, ‘Diplomatic isolation’ at what level; if it is SAARC, it will be like an old mother locking him in the room thinking let him cry. Well, he will very well stab the mother and run away ASAP, as Pakistan is trying to drag India to international court over Indus River Treaty. Nonetheless, SAARC isolation was inevitable but it’s just like a paracetamol to cull the feverish public sentiments in India.



मन का चोर (Man Ka Chor)


The question remains, how to push this unruly teenager into rehab.

  • Locking him in the room won’t work
  • Beat the crap out of him won’t work
  • We need to build the best rehabs i.e. we need to get our house in order first, get the defense infrastructure out of babudom (red tape). We need UAV, drones, better training, better vigilance, better jackets, rifles, ration, basic stuff more than rafales.

A friend, an army officer once shared with me with regards to his deployment in the northeast. He told me how the Chinese ration used to come in trucks via road and was delivered to their posts and how at times they used to deliver rations by roping up high cliffs.

“An army marches on its stomach” – Napoleon Bonaparte


It’s about time to cut the constant war rhetoric. Sanjay Rajoura, a stand-up artist, rightly tweeted – “A banker, an IT professional, a property dealer want the sons of poor farmers to go on a war with Pakistan!”


Hindi Poetry on India Pakistan Partition

So our unruly teenage addict neighbor can be rightly weighed down by Uncle Sam in a prospectively decisive way. We want the USA to declare Pakistan a terror state (they didn’t do it even when they killed Osama there) and all we get is a smirk from Pakistan like, “Hey aren’t you saying it since the 70’s”.


We need to shun the peddlers’ like we did to Hafiz Saeed and Lakhvi; interestingly they were acted upon after 26/11 and all it took was some ear twisting at Rawalpindi by Uncle Sam. But Uncle Sam is a real bargainer, we need to help them the way they want it, whether in Afghanistan or in the South China Sea. We can do it more convincingly as our interests lie in that. We are no less than a smart baniya (trader) when it comes to bargaining.


Pakistan is living out of the basket and the basket is primarily filled by the USA. We need to snatch that away. Pakistan will be left with only China to its rescue; which will never ever let these peddlers run loose as they want to mint every penny invested in Pakistan. That’s what they are doing in The China-Pakistan Economic Corridor (CPEC), 7000 Chinese workers being guarded by 15000 soldiers, which means peddlers get no supply.


Pakistan has virtually become a colony of China and the colonizer will never let the hoodlums run amok.


The depth of Pak’s dependency on China is so brutal that it can be measured from guns to grains.


Lastly, make our part of Kashmir so blissful, that they can’t have a lollipop to suck on like a crying baby uttering the K word. They got nothing else to do, you take it away from them they might put their minds to some constructive work.


After all an average Pakistani won’t like jets flying over Islamabad, even they would prefer morning office hour and traffic snarls as we enjoy the very day (pun intended).



मन का चोर (Man Ka Chor)